Monday, May 4, 2009

Wandering, wondering...

It is a strange zone, this. I wait in anticipation. A few sentences wait in the wings. When they show themselves, they could change my world...or not.

Oh how it does bear down on me, like a faulty leak in my mind. Am I in or am I out? Up until last evening I wanted in. Now I'm no longer sure.

How do I know if it's all a terrible mistake? I was just thinking a while back, pondering over how we have so many options and dreams.

I wish life were a jigsaw puzzle and each dream or wish a part of it. That way I could flip the pieces around a bit and figure out what's amiss.

Am I working towards who I'm destined to be? Do I even believe in destiny? Am I throwing caution to the wind or was I meant to fly this way.

I always thought I decided about me. Increasingly, to my dismay, it is not that way. There are simply too many strings attached. I give it hard thought. I've never known life in any other way.

It's tempting I must say, to break free and steal away. Far from this high strung and intrinsically wired spectacle that has come to replace my life.

So easy to judge; so difficult to open up,learn and accept. Stereotypes and preconceived notions have taken over everyday life.