Seems I've been very absorbed in everything but me these past months.
Must reassert myself to me, accept new definitions that marriage has created.
I found that it's easier for me to loose myself in someone else's perception and harder for me to find me again.
The break-from-work honeymoon is so over!
Need to realign myself and surroundings to get where I need to go, the dream I have yet to achieve ... "The Page"
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
I love reading
Books, notes, blogs, licensed paper, back-of-pack text, newspapers and even labels....I LOVE reading
There's a place in my head that I escape to.
What I read becomes me.
Every word, letter and syllable is the wind, earth and the sea.
A legal paper confirming a lease tenant draws pictures in my head; notes make me wonder at the variety of subjects we human beings have created.
Obsessive-compulsive need to record the move of every atom and the reason why Ms. Z changed her nail colour makes for fascinating escapism.
I write this in sheer awe of the volumes of text I have had the privilege to read and the volumes more that I know are waiting.
Keep it coming!
There's a place in my head that I escape to.
What I read becomes me.
Every word, letter and syllable is the wind, earth and the sea.
A legal paper confirming a lease tenant draws pictures in my head; notes make me wonder at the variety of subjects we human beings have created.
Obsessive-compulsive need to record the move of every atom and the reason why Ms. Z changed her nail colour makes for fascinating escapism.
I write this in sheer awe of the volumes of text I have had the privilege to read and the volumes more that I know are waiting.
Keep it coming!
Monday, March 15, 2010
Of molds, stereotypes and happiness.
It is said that a man becomes a philosopher when he’s not happy with his wife.
For the average, working 20-something these days, the phrase might well apply to professional life. It’s amazing how much a job can take over life’s rhythm and patterns. For 20 years of our life we slowly graduate from play to study to work. We learn to equate happiness to doing something we love doing and doing it well. Many opinions shape our lives and slowly we go off-track. Potential artists become doctors and future engineers turn to sales and marketing.
Nurtured in a sea of stereotypes, it’s still difficult to mix and match the right ones in a formula that suits a particular individual pretty much exactly. Many break out of the moulds set for them. Some make it to the peaks they aimed at, many don’t. There’s an ocean of people out there who’d rather be doing something vastly different and there’s many more who don’t know what precisely they ought to be doing anyway.
Every now and then I find myself marveling at the zest which some people carry on at work. Here’s one type, the type that makes the things they do work for them and derive happiness therein. It’s a pleasant place to be in. Curiosity arises almost naturally and they seem to apply it in all the right places. They’re the ones that used the mold to get them happiness; they’re the ones that tick off milestones.
How then does one set about finding out how to keep oneself occupied and happy. Is the exercise of identification and implementation enough? Yes I think, but not always. As people grow, they change and with that change, one must evolve, as opposed to resist. Life works in strange ways; each twist, turn and straight road will lead only to the road’s end. How we find happiness along the way is up to us.
For the average, working 20-something these days, the phrase might well apply to professional life. It’s amazing how much a job can take over life’s rhythm and patterns. For 20 years of our life we slowly graduate from play to study to work. We learn to equate happiness to doing something we love doing and doing it well. Many opinions shape our lives and slowly we go off-track. Potential artists become doctors and future engineers turn to sales and marketing.
Nurtured in a sea of stereotypes, it’s still difficult to mix and match the right ones in a formula that suits a particular individual pretty much exactly. Many break out of the moulds set for them. Some make it to the peaks they aimed at, many don’t. There’s an ocean of people out there who’d rather be doing something vastly different and there’s many more who don’t know what precisely they ought to be doing anyway.
Every now and then I find myself marveling at the zest which some people carry on at work. Here’s one type, the type that makes the things they do work for them and derive happiness therein. It’s a pleasant place to be in. Curiosity arises almost naturally and they seem to apply it in all the right places. They’re the ones that used the mold to get them happiness; they’re the ones that tick off milestones.
How then does one set about finding out how to keep oneself occupied and happy. Is the exercise of identification and implementation enough? Yes I think, but not always. As people grow, they change and with that change, one must evolve, as opposed to resist. Life works in strange ways; each twist, turn and straight road will lead only to the road’s end. How we find happiness along the way is up to us.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Reality bites
This morning, after an evening's worth of exposure to an arsenal of reality shows, I caught myself wondering what would happen if a participant was seriously, perhaps even fatally injured. Would the reality show be barred from airing? How would it affect TRPs of the channel? Would an incident like that affect the lay person's view of reality shows, possibly cause a withdrawal effect? Who knows what could happen.
In the evening I walked into news proclaiming the death of an eleven year old due to suicide. She featured in some dance based shows and was known to be a bubbly child. The awful act was discovered when her younger sister came home from school in the afternoon. No one is aware how it came about. Her own parents said she gave away no such intentions even as late as that very morning.
It was a tough task for her instructor to convince her parents about letting her star in dance-based reality shows. When her grades started dropping, they pulled her out so she could concentrate on her academics. And this to a girl who'd been dancing for 4 years of the most impressionable stage of her life.
What possible pressure could lead a eleven year old to her own death? My mind worked in three definitive directions. (a)Unidentified depression due to flailing academics[and the pressure that goes with it]added to the 'sudden' dearth of dance (b)child abuse, physical or otherwise (c)she was dancing with her dupatta and unfortunately it caught in the fan. This last option is the most unlikely, yet, for the sake of preserving childhood innocence, how I wish it was.
In the evening I walked into news proclaiming the death of an eleven year old due to suicide. She featured in some dance based shows and was known to be a bubbly child. The awful act was discovered when her younger sister came home from school in the afternoon. No one is aware how it came about. Her own parents said she gave away no such intentions even as late as that very morning.
It was a tough task for her instructor to convince her parents about letting her star in dance-based reality shows. When her grades started dropping, they pulled her out so she could concentrate on her academics. And this to a girl who'd been dancing for 4 years of the most impressionable stage of her life.
What possible pressure could lead a eleven year old to her own death? My mind worked in three definitive directions. (a)Unidentified depression due to flailing academics[and the pressure that goes with it]added to the 'sudden' dearth of dance (b)child abuse, physical or otherwise (c)she was dancing with her dupatta and unfortunately it caught in the fan. This last option is the most unlikely, yet, for the sake of preserving childhood innocence, how I wish it was.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Listed
Another name on the list.
One more heart amiss.
Scathingly, to false sorrow you admit,
for parting only brings new tomorrows.
I can fathom not what you think.
Is your mind the master of its will?
Deeply besotted in your ways,
saturation leaves me disheartened.
Somewhere deeply imprinted inside,
a scar that you may’nt identify;
The only proof that you were here.
Memories can be doctored,
all evidences tampered,
but this fail-safe method,
the fit of your words to my own,
Assails any shallow sense of victory.
One more heart amiss.
Scathingly, to false sorrow you admit,
for parting only brings new tomorrows.
I can fathom not what you think.
Is your mind the master of its will?
Deeply besotted in your ways,
saturation leaves me disheartened.
Somewhere deeply imprinted inside,
a scar that you may’nt identify;
The only proof that you were here.
Memories can be doctored,
all evidences tampered,
but this fail-safe method,
the fit of your words to my own,
Assails any shallow sense of victory.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Scope for more
It hadn’t even been 6 months, she could tell him like the back of her hand. Standing at the door, watching him through the glass. Every flick of the eyebrow, the way he shifted his gaze, how easy it was to tell what he was thinking when he rubbed his knuckles that particular way.
Two months ago, she wondered how difficult it would be, a new place, the adjustments and the change in lifestyle. So many people to get familiar with, it was truly mind-boggling. Thank goodness for him! He definitely made life easier; took her through everything step by step and even guided her where she needed help.
Now, the weight fell lightly on her shoulders. In fact, she believed it was time she took on more. She drew in a deep breath, knocked and said, “Hi Boss, I was wondering if we could review my profile. I believe there is scope for more!”
Two months ago, she wondered how difficult it would be, a new place, the adjustments and the change in lifestyle. So many people to get familiar with, it was truly mind-boggling. Thank goodness for him! He definitely made life easier; took her through everything step by step and even guided her where she needed help.
Now, the weight fell lightly on her shoulders. In fact, she believed it was time she took on more. She drew in a deep breath, knocked and said, “Hi Boss, I was wondering if we could review my profile. I believe there is scope for more!”
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Evolving
there is definitely a pattern to evolution.
each generations gleans from the mistakes of the former. yet there is always space for more mistakes. as you undo mistakes of yore, the threads are so vastly complicated that you invariably step on a few toes.
our forefathers would always fires fires in open spaces. the next generation discovered ways to control the great flame. us, we have redefined it's usage, method of creations and at times, even form of creation.
In the process we loose a bit of our former selves, paving way a species that is different in thought, form and communication from it's very own origin.
each generations gleans from the mistakes of the former. yet there is always space for more mistakes. as you undo mistakes of yore, the threads are so vastly complicated that you invariably step on a few toes.
our forefathers would always fires fires in open spaces. the next generation discovered ways to control the great flame. us, we have redefined it's usage, method of creations and at times, even form of creation.
In the process we loose a bit of our former selves, paving way a species that is different in thought, form and communication from it's very own origin.
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